Melancholy

Black notes of graceless anger
Why did I choose this
Why does it have to be this way

The world is tired
Scorned
Brushed away

Despondency prevails and the winds don't change
Homeostasis sets in
The heart grows number, colder
Irradiance

Turned off
Zombie glare
All wants, desires, needs
Cease to exist in this emptiness

This void-less void of hollow pain
Where only gloom remains
Turning, churning, sad and blue
Lost particle spinning, searching

Gives up
Discipline wavers
The vortex swallows
Fermentation builds
Fracture lines bubble and crack
Bursting, suffering

She curls up
Gravity winds her back to a fetal egg
Back, back into the cocoon
Nesting, tears dripping
Shattered heart
She dies again

I am not strong enough 
She shouts
Anger
Rage

Flashings of black and white
Righteousness
Resistance
Revenge

Help my heart to break
Help me to feel it's all mine to feel
There is nothing left to do
Surrender to the sadness

I am grief


Gaia Trojanowski
November 2012